The End of A Trying Year!

Goodbye 2011! Never thought I'd be so happy to see a year go by. 2011 has been a very trying year. It's amazing how so much happened in one year. The loss of my childhood home to fire, the loss of my maternal grandfather, and to top it off, diagnosed with cancer 22 days after my 38th birthday. It's almost enough to make you wanna quit. My life has been in a tail spin since my diagnosis on Oct. 28th. Since then I've not been able to work, which was my place of refuge and spiritual strength. I have taken great pride in my job and the fact that for 7 1/2 years I had not missed but a handful of days to being sick. I had accumulated over 600 hours that I thought I'd never have to use. Little did I know that this was a preparation God had been setting up for years. My boss, who is not only my best friend, had quickly become my spiritual teacher and fellow student of the word. It is awesome to work in a place where God is the focus. The work is always easier when you realize the it is second to God. Now it's been two months since I have worked a day. I went from working 6 days a week for 7 1/2 years to 0 days in two months. It takes a lot out of you being dependent on other people. I can't legally drive. I can't work. I am freaked out by being in public scared to death I'm gonna have another seizure. I haven't been on stage with my band since the first weekend in November. I am anxious to get back out there but I'm also scared. I have taken some time away from teaching the youth at church because of fatigue, sickness, and doctors appointments. A couple times since this all started, I have participated in worship during our services at church but I'm not leading. All the things that I find strenght in have seemingly been taken from me. At times I want to question as to why this is all happening. I don't understand any of it and I sure don't think it's fair. But I know we were never promised it would be fair only that He'd always be with us. That's all well and good if I could just see the end! If I could just get a glimpse of the future and know that everything is gonna be OK! I guess that wouldn't require any faith. I just need some reassurance I guess. I am secure in knowing where I'm going when I die. But I guess I never stopped to think that any time soon. I know that whatever God has in store for my life that He's has promised to work it out to my good, it's just scary not knowing what that entails. For now, I am saying goodbye to a very trying and very hard 2011. God has showed me through 2011 that I truly am second and as I embark on 2012, I pray that God will continue to use me to spread His message. I pray for strength to endure through this trial and watch as God turns it into testimony. I look forward to getting back out there and spreading His word and using this trial to help others. I ask for your continued prayer and support as we face this new year and thank you for all your prayers and support in 2011. I know that I am truly blessed to have such a large and diverse support group. I love you all and you have definitely helped to lighten my load. My name is Jason Horn and I AM SECOND!!!

Be Careful what you wish for!!!

Well for 2 months now I have been looking forward to finally coming off the steroid Decadron. I finally took my last one 4 days ago. Little did I know what was in store. I woke up Christmas morning about 4 o'clock unable to straighten my legs. My knees were so swollen and sore. I worked trying to get up out of bed until 10. Knowing if I didn't get up then I'd never make it church, I forced myself into the shower. I hobbled all day through church and family Christmas parties then i went home and CRASHED. I spent the next day in the bed all day. Just didn't have the energy to get up and get going. So far today has been spent in the bed. I knew that coming off of a steroid after two months would be dangerous but I wasn't expecting all this. I wanted more than anything to get off this steroid. The weight gain, the mood swings, the irritability, but I didn't realize what comes after. God has blessed me in my life and has kept me from ever getting addicted to any drugs. I got my wish to come off the steroids, little did I know that coming off of them would be as bad as the side effects on them. Hopefully this will only last a couple more days. My joints are feeling better already. I go back to have labs drawn and see the oncologists tomorrow to maybe I'll get some result from the Radiation treatment. I would also like to take a moment to thank everyone that helped to make this Christmas special for me and my family. I am overwhelmed by the love and blessing that were bestowed on my family. I didn't have to worry about Christmas which took alot off of me and my girls got more than they would have otherwise. I am truly blessed to have such great friends and family and just incase I haven't already told you I Love You and Thank You for making this Christmas special.

The Christmas Spirit

It has been a very long time since I think I really understood the meaning of Christmas Spirit. For the first time in years, this year is truly not about the stuff. It's amazing how something like cancer can help put Christmas into perspective. The Beatles said it best, You can't buy me love! Anyone can give a gift that was purchased during a knock-out/drag-out at Walmart on Black Friday (Anyone dumb enough to get out in that mess anyway!) But the true gifts are the ones that show that people understand the true meaning of Christmas. I stood back today watching the Community mission project giving away food and fixing meals and found myself proud. Proud that Christians from different churches pulled together to serve a community by showing them the love that God has put in our hearts. To often, Christmas Spirit gets lost in the stuff. I visited a church Wednesday night and heard that the kids of the church had actually questioned the pastor as to why they had decided to call off services for Sunday. If "Jesus is the reason for the season" why would you not have church on the day we celebrate His birth. I remember as a child getting upset that we had to go to church on Christmas Day and was told real quick that the real reason for Christmas was all about Him not us(Thanks Jerry). I wonder just how many churches will be closed Sunday morning. Kinda time for us Christians to show we believe what we claim to believe. Anyway I hope and pray this season, at least for the next couple of days that each of you stop long enough to remember that we are celebrating the season of love. John 3:16!!! Let the songs of adoration rise!!! He is alive and we are free!!! Let the Christmas Spirit reign in your heart and shower each other with the love of Christ!! God Bless and Merry Christmas!!!

I'm Free To Be Me!!

Have you ever tried to summerize who you are? It's not as easy as you would think. Once you get started, it's hard not to include who others think you are and who they think you should be. I'm me!! The good, the bad, and the ugly. That is why I've decided to be who God wants me to be. ME!! I'm not going sky diving, or Rocky Mountain climbing or 2.7 seconds on some bull, but I'm also no longer gonna waste time on being who I'm not. I think that us as Christians have gotten into a rut that we really need to climb out of. God has a plan to use us to reach this world and we are failing because we are busy trying to be something we are not. Thankfully there are some people out there that know who they are in Christ and are not afraid to share Him with a lost and dieing world. This season is about love. Jesus is the reason for the season!! Really? Have you been to Walmart. God is the reason for the season. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." That is the love that we need to be sharing. Spend time spreading the love of Christ this Christmas season. It doesn't require money, just time and that is something that we all have. We all have problems and concerns. God wants us to share those. Show people His love. That is what Christmas is about. LOVE!! Show that you are His by showing His love!!   

Not of this World!!!

It's funny how you can say something and it seem almost trivial at the time and then only later you realize that the words that came out of your own mouth were placed there by God Himself for you to look back on later and marvel at His goodness. I was reminded today by a comment from one of my extended family members that I said from stage that we are not supposed to be comfortable here because this is not where we belong. We are strangers passing through a foreign land on our way home. The time we get to spend here should be about bringing others with us to our destination. I am reminded daily what it means to not be comfortable but I keep forgetting that I'm not supposed to be. The truth is, we are all on a journey that, short of the rapture taking place, will end in death. For some of us, that will be the ultimate reward. For others, eternal punishment. We use things daily to get through this life. People we rely on, stuff we focus on, our jobs, our kids. It's easy to forget that we are not promised tomorrow. We go to bed with plans for tomorrow. We wake up with plans for the day. We need to make sure that we have made our plans for eternity. I believe the saddest thing ever would be to make it to Heaven and have to give an account for words not spoken to lost people. Knowing that I missed an opportunity to lead someone else to Christ. Knowing that because I was focused on me being comfortable in this world, I didn't take the time to tell someone about Jesus. I've thought several times about the things that I have prayed for over the years. The selfish prayers for a new job, better pay, even for a deer to walk out in front of me in the woods so I could shoot him in a game only I knew we were playing. But how many times have I actually stopped and asked God to put lost people in my path and give me the opportunity to talk to them. What would I say? I'd be to embarrassed! Is my comfort in this world really worth someone else going to Hell! The answer is NO!!! Jesus was considered strange because He went contrary to what church folk thought He should do. I don't want to be church folk anymore. Get real or get lost!! There really isn't a difference. "The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians. People who honor God with their mouths then walk out the door and deny Him  by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable!!" D.C. Talk. A truer statement has never been uttered. People see what religion church folk have and they don't want any of it. They want real!!! This world was not built for us. This world shall pass away. Stop digging in so deep! This stay is supposed to be temporary!! All I know is I'm not home yet, this is not where I belong!!!! And yes, I'm ready to go! Do you know Him? It's not about religion, it's all about a relationship!! Start one today then invite others to join you!

Amazed

 Well another day has past and I'm still here. It is amazing this journey that God has chosen for me and my family. I have been amazed at how people have stepped up and stepped into my life. I really didn't see how anything good could come out of all that has happened in the past 2 months. But thankfully, God has really used some very special people to restore my faith in humanity. My family is huge but we have never really been close. My parents have really stepped up and helped out. It's kinda strange to have such a large family and still feel alone but for a long time it's been that way. I have always tried to get along with everyone and for the most part I do. But I also stay to myself alot to. My siblings have really impressed me with their being here when I need them. cooking supper, bringing Chick-fil-a (my fave) and just knowing they are praying for me. I'll probably never call on them to take me anywhere or to come visit or anything else, but knowing they are there helps alot. My church family has gone above and beyond any expectations that I could have ever had of them. Christmas season is a hard time for everyone. It's kinda funny how the people that step up and demonstrate love are not always the people you think of first. God has people in place that He can use and I have learned to focus on these people and not the ones that have not met expectations. I am bless beyond measure to have a large family and a large church family but I have another family that continues to bless me and mine. That is the family of believers that we have grown to love through our band Justifi'd. My band mates are literally my brothers. I know they have my back and are praying daily. I have learned more in the last two months about ministry than I did in the previous 3 years in the band. Ministry is about sharing God with people in a real way. Not lip service, not going through the motions. Anyone can get up and sing a song but God chosen who He uses to lead worship. God is love and He uses people to show us that love. I'm looking forward to getting back out there after the first of the year and get started sharing what God is doing for me through Y'all on this journey. The examples, the stories, the blessings, God has AMAZED me. I have a long way to go to get this all behind me but I'm not gonna sit here and wait for it to pass before I move on. God is using this trial to teach me things I desperately needed to know. Building testimony! God will make this trial a blessing and maybe soon we'll get to come share it with you in person!!  

The Weekend!!

It's kinda funny how I used to look so forward to the weekend. I actually had a real good weekend. My Bro. Joseph came and picked me up Saturday and we headed to Sam Ash Music Store and Guitar Center aka (Musician's Chucky Cheese). Then lunch at Steak and Shake, browsing at Gable's Sporting Goods, then milk shakes from Chick-fil-a. Then came home and finally got to have our 15th Anniversary Date Night with my wife. Had a good dinner at Fuji in Oxford then walked it off at the mall. Overall it was a real good day. Thankfully I'm starting to get used to the constant fatigue. I been fighting a cold for a couple days now and it whooped me this morning. I got up and didn't even feel like getting dressed. I have tried to keep doing everything that I had been doing and I guess it finally caught up with me. So I took today off. I checked out. It is so nice to have all this going on and still somehow catch a cold. But overall, I am still moving forward and I am definitely looking forward to coming off the steroid in 5 more days. Looking forward to being back to myself by Christmas and spending time with family. Got another week without Dr. appointments this week so more time to rest and recoup. Still appreciate all the prayers and I know that through all this, It's still under control and still building testimony.   

I'm Back

Well I took a couple of days off to try to recoup from a head cold. It hasn't worked. Everything is just so yuck right now that I haven't really felt like blogging. This week has been crazy with band concerts and chorus performances. Just when you need to take time to relax and enjoy the season, it just goes off track and crazy. I do have some good news though. I have finally started coming off the steroid I've been on. I'm on a three step weaning process and I'm on day 2 of the second step. That means it will be gone from my system by Christmas. I don't like taking it because it scares me how I change on it. One of my youth decided that it would be funny to sneak up on me in the parking lot of the high school and jump out from behind a vehicle and hit me. It wasn't and I promise he won't do it again. I actually scared myself! Hopefully all will be back to some sense of normalcy soon. I have learned to try to avoid situations that I don't feel comfortable in. People just need to understand that I stand off by myself for a reason. I want to participate but I really don't want hurt no ones feeling. I am thankful for all the continuous prayers and blessings. It is still kinda scary not knowing what is ahead, but I still trust in Him who holds it all. Jesus is the reason for everything not just Christmas. It's all about Him!!! Bye for now!

Tired!!

Here we are again. Thank God for Wright Way BBQ and Wings (you're welcome David)! You know that it has been a long day when supper consisting of wings can get a person that excited. As I have said earlier though is that it is the little things that mean so much. Day 6 on chemo and just now really started having any noticeable side effects other than fatigue. Started having some cracks in my mouth today which really sucks. Feels like I have been eating really sharp ice. But I'm not gonna complain because it is still bearable. At least I'm not sick all the time. Thankfully, I am slowly weaning off the steroid that makes me hungry all the time and also very irritable.  It's kinda strange to get up from eating and start immediately thinking about what I'm gonna eat next. I despise taking any medication, but something that changes my mood and my eating habits is really jacking me up. Plus to throw all the Christmas stuff on top of all this going on, it's almost overwhelming. My girls both have a full week with chorus and band concerts. But I have learned that I have to listen to my body first. If I can do it, I'm there, but I no longer make long range plans. It is kinda freeing! Just simply telling people that if I feel like it I'm there and if I don't I'm not. And that actually being sufficient! I still try to do alot and probably do a little too much some times but oh well. Live while I'm living. I know that we are all on this journey and that we all have our own worries and fears and expectations, I've just learned to prioritize what really is important. Whether or not the house is clean, yard is mowed, or worrying about stuff that I have no control over is not even close to being a priority. Spending time with the people I love is what is important. I thank all of you for your prayers and support and pray that it continue. TODAY I AM ALIVE, SO I'M GONNA LIVE!!

12/11/11

Well, today was another day that seemed to just fly by on this journey. I have actually forgotten how much I used to enjoy my Sunday routine. But I guess in actuality, no day should just be routine, especially not the one that we get to meet together to worship. I just wish that that is what Sunday was about. I really do love the Christmas season and what it really means but I don't like the pomp and circumstance that takes place during December in "preparation" for Christmas. I really enjoy true worship. When like minded people get together for the purpose of worshipping an Almighty, All powerful God. Giving the absolute best we have to the absolute best there is. Today's worship service started with our youth doing a skit/signing dance to I am by Eddie James. Honestly, that was as close as I ever got to worship today. I don't blame anyone else for this fact either. As a worship leader, I have never accepted the belief that it is my responsibility to lead someone else to worship so I can't blame anyone else for me not getting there myself. It is hard not being able to just jump back in and run again. I have a difficult time with understanding this. I love leading worship. I love worshipping. I don't enjoy not being able to do what I feel like I am made to do. This cancer will not beat me!! I have no doubt that it is just a temporary burden that God has allowed me to go through to build a testimony as to how good God is. But I have learned that I am not as strong as I thought I was. I long to get back to some sense of normalcy. Today showed me how weak I have become. My study habits have gotten rusty. My fellowship has dropped off almost to nothing. Today showed me that I need to not only take time to get well physically, but spiritually as well. God I ask for Your forgiveness and thank You for Your love and patience. Please return to me the joy of Thy salvation. I thank You for what You are gonna do through this ordeal and I am ready to get moving forward and stop spinning my wheels.
You're my Hope, You're my Peace, You're my Joy, You're my Rest
You are my Comfort,You're Relief from my stress
You're my Strength, You're my Faith, You're my Love, You're my Power
You are my Freedom this very hour! I Am Eddie James

So far, So Good

Well it's day 3 on chemo and so far, so good. Side effects are minimal so far. Fatigue seems to be the main effect. Not so sure that fatigue at this point is necessarily a bad side effect to have. It does help to remind me to take it easy and go to bed. It's funny how something as simple as sleep can be one of the things I look forward to most. However, now my family and I have decided to share a cold so we're al snotty and coughing. Nothing like having a cold on top of everything else. Looking forward to a quite weekend and some time to relax. We finally have a week next week with no doctor's appointments. Finally get some time to just relax and take it easy. Thanks for the prayers and keep em coming. Love ya!

Remember To Live

Kinda funny how its the little things that have mattered to most. Everything went well with the radiation, first day of the chemotherapy went well. Went and got me some Wright Way for supper. Made my weekly trip to Walmart. Run into to someone that always seems to say the same thing. "Well, you're looking good!" It has served as a reminder to me that we are all dieing. I just needed to be reminded to live. My life has been in a strange cycle for years. 10 plus years in the ministry at the same church, with the same people, doing the same things, expecting different results. 7 plus years in the same job, with the same people, doing the same things, expecting different results. God never called me into a life of mediocrity, but to be His servant doing His will. It has suprised me now looking back and noticing the little things that I never really took advantage of. It's not been the momentous occasions that I have missed the most since this all started. It's been the little things that are simply taken for granted daily. The strength to stand for something. The ability to do for myself. The independence. The hardest thing I have experienced has been the not knowing. Not knowing what's next? What to expect? I know God has a plan, but He hasn't just layed it out in front of me so that I can see it and plan accordingly. I have always prided myself in being the type of person that if I, or my family, or my friends, needed it, then I'd go work for and God would provide it. I see people that are perfectly capable of getting out and working, sitting back and waiting for a hand out. That is not the plan that I have ever seen for my life. It is extremely difficult to sit here now and wait not knowing what tomorrow holds. I know that I will never know exactly what tomorrow holds but I do know who holds tomorrow, therefore I will not fear but trust in Him to provide. Never really been a patient person and not having the little things that have brought me comfort through the years to rely on has really shook things up for me. But for now, this journey is where I am. I am here because this is where God has for me at this time. Who knows what tomorrow holds? In the words of Tim McGraw, "An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

Dec. 7, 2011

Well here we are again. It is hard to believe but today is actually a special day. For 15 years ago I married my best friend. It's kinda hard now going through all that we are going through but I honestly can't imagine having to do it alone. It is absolutely driving my nuts having to have Pam drive us everywhere. For 15 years, I've driven everywhere. She has already had to be my brain, my memory, my secretary, and more since this all started but being my personal driver is too much. I really am thankful that I have her by my side. I know that God placed us together. Today I had my SRS (Stereotactic Radiation Surgery) and all went well. Almost freaked out but didn't. Tomorrow I start my first 4 week round of Chemotherapy. Hoping and praying that side effects are minimal. Ready to move forward. Thankfully, we have no doctor's appointments the rest of this week or next week. Finally a week without going to Rome. Please continue to keep the prayers coming. We certainly appreciate it all.

Another Step Forward!

Well here we go again! Another step forward! Had my follow up with the surgeon that removed my kidney today. He was glad to see I'm healing well. Asked me to take it easy for a couple more weeks then I should be good to start rebuilding! I've kinda already started! Been trying to walk and go to the gym as much as possible. I'm ready to get back out there spreading the great news that God Loves Us!! Leading worship, both at church and on stage with Justifi'd, is something that I draw alot of strength from and I', ready to get back to both. Tomorrow, we take another step forward with the Stereotactic Radiation Surgery on the lesion on my brain. Ready to get it over with. Then hopefully I can start my chemotherapy Thursday. The SRS is a one time treatment but the chemo will be a daily pill for 4 weeks off for 2 then another 4 weeks. Then we rescan and look and see. I know that God has a plan and everything is working according to His will. I am constantly reminded of this fact. Today after meeting with my urologist Dr. Gilbert with the Harbin clinic, He stood up, shook my hand, and said God Bless You and I'm praying for you!! I know that I serve the Great Physician that does still work miracles, but I'm also highly thankful that God has placed ministers in positions such as Dr. Gilbert. It helps to know the people that God has placed in my life to help me beat this cancer serve the same God I do!! It's kinda scary to be going through all of this, but I know I'm never alone. I appreciate the kind words, prayers, thoughts, etc. I truly am part of an awesome family!!

Another Day

Another day, that has always just been something that was assumed. The punch line of another day another dollar! Never really given that much thought to it. Now another day has taken on new meaning. Another day to love, another day to live, another day to laugh, another day to..! I know that there is nothing in my life that God is gonna bring me to, that He has not already designed a way through it. He has promised me that He will work all things to my good. I will trust and stand on that promise even though I am having a hard time seeing it. Maybe that is the point. Trust without sight!! If it requires sight then obviously faith is not required. Another Day will never be taken for granted, another day will forever be seen as a blessing, and God I pray that You help me to see each and every day as another day to serve You!!!

Friday 12/2/11

Well we went back to see the neurologist today. Good news, He showed us the results from last weeks MRI and there has not been any growth in the lesion on my brain since the original MRI. The Stereo tactic radiation surgery is still scheduled for Wednesday and they believe that this will take care of the brain lesion. However, the doctor told me today that I have a mandatory 6 months time period of no driving and the brain damage done from the lesion will most likely cause me to have to be on seizure medicine from now on. it's a scary diagnosis not knowing if the City's insurance will allow me to go back to work even after the doctors release me. My job and my boss have been a great source of strength for me and the looking forward to getting back to normal has really helped me push on. So to find out that these may no longer be an option for me is very scary. Thankfully I have till February before I run out of sick and vacation time but I would like to know now what I have to look forward to on the job front. I would be more than happy to just go into the full time ministry with my music and band and not have to return to a secular job. Maybe that is what God is setting up. On a lighter note, Pam and I were sitting in the waiting room today, by ourselves, in a completely empty large waiting room, with approximately 100 chairs, and an older couple came in and decided to sit in the chairs that were directly behind us. I mean touching the chair I was sitting in. Then another older couple came in and sat down beside them. The waiting room was completely empty except for 6 chairs that were all within 10 feet of each other. Then the smell hit. Old lady perfume!! I have gotten used to being in these waiting rooms where the only people here my age are here because the brought the parents or grandparents for treatment, but I don't think I will ever get used to Old Lady Perfume. Finally we were called to the back and Pam and I had a discussion, another words she was nagging me, about needing to be patient. And here is what I came up with. Wisdom from the jacked up mind of Jason... I can be A patient, or I can be patient. Chances are not looking good for me to be both at the same time. I know God has a plan that He is working through this and like a statement I made Wednesday night in our youth class; Proverbs 3:5 God's will requires our obedience, not our understanding! Bye for now.

Still Going

Well I've made it a month so far. It seems like this all just started and I can't hardly believe its been a month. I went Tuesday and got fitted for my mask to do the SRS next wed. I go to see neurologist Friday, oncologist Tuesday and SRS set for Wednesday. I'm pretty sure I should own stock in Harbin Clinic by now. All is going well enough I guess. Dr. Mumber recommended I read a book call Life Over Cancer so I started it last night. I'm actually looking forward to moving on with this treatment. I am gonna start with some physical exercise today to start building my stamina back up. I'm ready to get back on stage and get back to playing. Can't work so I mine as well take the opportunity to exercise. Well I'll check out for now.

The Most Amazing Thing Happened

From day one, I have been amazed by the love that has been shown by people in my life. I have never really considered myself to be a friendly person. I am very private and I am not a sharing person. So the outpouring of love that we have been shown has just blown me away. I know we serve an awesome God and He has amazing people that He uses to minister to us, but I really had no idea how much that really meant. I'm not gonna start naming individuals because I would quickly leave someone out that has done something that blessed my life in an amazing way, but I do want to say wow. God has placed people in my life that have showed me what it really means to be a Christian. Alot of people go to church every Sunday and couldn't come close to defining the word love much less being able to show the love that Christ has put in us. I thank God for all the people that He has placed in my life and I want each of you to know how thankful I am that you were willing to let God use you to minister to me and my family. In this day and age we live in where everything seams to be a "take all you can get" mentality, you have really showed me that there are still great God loving people out there. God has placed people in my life that have just been amazing. You have helped to make this traumatic event in my life not only bearable but also a learning experience. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the food, prayers, gifts, thoughts, visits, and smiles. You truly have showed me what it means to be loved. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we continue to battle this cancer. Thank you just doesn't convey the message that I want to get across to each of you, but words never seem to. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS!!! 

The Surgery

The next week went by in such a hurry that I literally almost missed it. After 7 1/2 years of working 6 days a week, I wasn't allowed to work. I spent alot of time just literally sitting around wondering what was gonna happen next. Thankfully we had Project Wildfire that we were playing at on Saturday so i spent some time getting ready for that. We played PW on Saturday night and I experienced true loving worship. I don't even remember being on stage hardly it went by so fast. Then Sunday morning service was good and I felt ready to battle. I checked into the hospital on Wednesday for the radical nephrectomy (Kidney Removal) and all went according to plan. The doctors were all pleased with how things went and they put me in a room and told me I could go home in 4 to 5 days. The first night they gave me a pain pump that quickly became my little friend. I loved that little button. I had another gravity pump that put pain med to the inside of the incision. The doctor told me that as soon as I felt like it I could get up and walk around and eat (which I was really looking forward to after 3 days of liquid or no diet) I could start working toward going home. So Thursday morning around 4 o'clock I decided it would be a good time to get started. So in my air-conditioned hospital gown I was strolling the halls. Slowly and short were the first trips but they quickly got longer. The doctor came in Friday morning to check on me and was pleased with my progress. He left it up to me as to how long I needed to stay after that so I decided that Friday evening would be a good time to come home. I came home with an internal pain pump, one kidney, and a 14 inch incision. I was glad to be home but still a little scared about what to expect. So I figures the best way to handle things was to just get going. So Saturday for lunch I got up got dressed and headed out to Wright Way Wings and BBQ for some real food and then, like an idiot, I headed to Walmart. It really did feel good to just get back to some sense of normalcy.

The Beginning

Well here we go! I've decided to blog about my journey through beating cancer. It all started on October 28th 2011 and approximately 2 in the morning. After an uneventful beginning to the night I retired to bed after a night of band practice. At approximately 2 am I was awoken by a Grand Mal Siezure. My wife called 911 and the fire department, ambulance, and some neighbors showed up to help. After several minutes, I began to get my bearing back and decided to refuse treatment and transport by the ambulance personel and go on to hospital by pov. My wife and the others helped me to my van and we started towards the hospital. About halfway there, I had another seizure that wasn't as bad as the first. We continued on to the hospital where I had another seizure. The hospital staff then stabilized me and I was finally able to get a ct scan done revealing a small lesion on my brain. The hospital staff made the decision to transfer me out to Floyd Hospital in Rome. After arriving at Floyd hospital the next two days were a blurr of doctors and tests. They began a plan to start an offensive attack on the lesion. Everything seemed to be going ok then the doctor said we needed to do a full body ct scan to rule out any other suprises. The nest day a doctor came into my room not looking very happy and advised us that she had bad news. The lesion on my brain quickly became not so important as she stood there and told us that I had a 5lb 12 cm tumor on my left kidney that had spread to both my lungs and to my brain. They immediately decided that removal of the kidney was now priority. The next day they released me from the hospital. Now I was set to start the fight set before me.