Remember To Live

Kinda funny how its the little things that have mattered to most. Everything went well with the radiation, first day of the chemotherapy went well. Went and got me some Wright Way for supper. Made my weekly trip to Walmart. Run into to someone that always seems to say the same thing. "Well, you're looking good!" It has served as a reminder to me that we are all dieing. I just needed to be reminded to live. My life has been in a strange cycle for years. 10 plus years in the ministry at the same church, with the same people, doing the same things, expecting different results. 7 plus years in the same job, with the same people, doing the same things, expecting different results. God never called me into a life of mediocrity, but to be His servant doing His will. It has suprised me now looking back and noticing the little things that I never really took advantage of. It's not been the momentous occasions that I have missed the most since this all started. It's been the little things that are simply taken for granted daily. The strength to stand for something. The ability to do for myself. The independence. The hardest thing I have experienced has been the not knowing. Not knowing what's next? What to expect? I know God has a plan, but He hasn't just layed it out in front of me so that I can see it and plan accordingly. I have always prided myself in being the type of person that if I, or my family, or my friends, needed it, then I'd go work for and God would provide it. I see people that are perfectly capable of getting out and working, sitting back and waiting for a hand out. That is not the plan that I have ever seen for my life. It is extremely difficult to sit here now and wait not knowing what tomorrow holds. I know that I will never know exactly what tomorrow holds but I do know who holds tomorrow, therefore I will not fear but trust in Him to provide. Never really been a patient person and not having the little things that have brought me comfort through the years to rely on has really shook things up for me. But for now, this journey is where I am. I am here because this is where God has for me at this time. Who knows what tomorrow holds? In the words of Tim McGraw, "An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."