Looking For Answers

So far I've made it without a whole lot of questions. I don't understand why we are having to go through all of this and I haven't questioned it. I know that everything happens for a reason and that God will work this to my good. I would just like a hint as to when. This has been going on for 3 months now. Three months of not working and providing for my family. Three months of not driving, not teaching like I normally do, no hunting, and not ministering through music like I'm used too. It's hard in this day and age with the current economy to try to survive in a ministry that requires financial support when you can't get out and play. I greatly miss leading worship. Spending time with my brothers-in-Christ leading other believers in worship. Even leading worship at my own church has gotten almost impossible. When I am able to be there, I don't have the strength to lead. I am not doubting or questioning God's reasoning behind this, but I'm ready to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't mind suffering for my God because I know He suffered for me so I consider it a privilege. I do have a little trouble with my family having to suffer. As the financial and spiritual leader of my family, I don't like not being able to be that leader for them. I am trying to raise two girls to grow up putting God first and searching for God in any man they will ever consider dating. I don't like them seeing a father that can't work and most of the time don't have the strength to take them to church. I grew up with a jacked up view of God because of the father figures I grew up with in my life and I wouldn't wish that on anyone especially not my girls. Please God I'm not asking for any special treatment, just a little relief. I know that the testimony we are building is gonna be awesome, I am just ready to get out there and share it. I know that God will not bring us to any valley that He hasn't already made a way through it for us. God I'm asking for strength, guidance, and relief. I love you and I pray that Your will be done. My name is Jason Horn, and I am SECOND!!